Bonding, Belief and Breastmilk: Finding Your Way After Surrogacy

Yes, it is possible to breastfeed after surrogacy; the human body is amazing! If you’ve chosen to induce lactation after surrogacy, you probably have questions and might feel a mix of emotions, from excitement to concerns. Let’s take a closer look…

What is induced Lactation?

If you haven’t been pregnant, you can still produce breastmilk through induced lactation. It usually involves stimulating the breasts (most commonly with a breast pump) and taking hormones to help trigger milk production. This process takes time, and many people begin months before their baby’s birth, so their body has time to respond. After surrogacy, such as gestational surrogacy, many mothers choose induced lactation.

Some Things to Consider

Not everyone produces a full supply of milk: Some mothers produce only a partial supply or a very small amount, and this is normal. Regardless of how much milk you produce, breastfeeding can still offer emotional benefits. Some people choose to supplement their supply of milk with formula or breast milk from a donor.

You can still form a connection without breastfeeding: Breastfeeding after surrogacy is a personal choice. You can still form a connection with your baby if you decide not to breastfeed! Fathers form a connection with their babies without breastfeeding, so mothers can too if that’s what feels right.

Becoming More Confident

Regardless of how someone’s baby arrived, breastfeeding is a skill that doesn’t come overnight. Talking to relatives and friends who have breastfed before can help you gain some insight to build confidence. Joining a support group is another option, allowing you to meet other parents in similar situations. These provide a non-judgmental space where you can learn from others, and others can learn from you too.

At Families and Babies, we provide trusted, community-based and online breastfeeding support across the UK, including peer support groups, drop-in sessions, accessible online support, and more. Whether you’re in Wakefield, Bolton, Dorset, Bournemouth, Poole, or looking for virtual guidance, we’re here to help.

Remember, it can take time to build confidence, so it’s important not to be hard on yourself. You’re doing something you’ve never done before, and so is your baby; it’s something you’ve both got to adapt to. Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be 100% perfect, so don’t put pressure on yourself.

Some Tips That Provide Emotional Benefit

Many people choose to breastfeed because it can help to foster a connection between a mother and her baby. The hormone oxytocin can help create feelings of calm, and it is released in both the mother and her baby during breastfeeding. Many mothers prioritise skin-to-skin contact during breastfeeding. This is because it can help build a strong connection and regulate your baby’s breathing, temperature, and heart rate.

While breastfeeding, consider talking softly or singing to your baby. If they can hear your voice, it can be calming and help them relax. Looking into their eyes also shows them that they’re safe and establishes trust. Make sure this isn’t rushed, because unhurried sessions provide more time to create a strong connection.

Families and Babies

At Families and Babies, we’re here to support you throughout your infant feeding journey. We work in close partnership with NHS Trusts and local authorities to provide in-person support in hospitals and communities, as well as online support, which is accessible to families nationwide.